My first escape was food and over the counter sleeping pills. I remember eating to escape and wanting to sleep all the time so I wouldn’t have to be awake and deal with my feelings. Later on in high school I went from thinking weed was for losers to trying it once to having a pipe and a bag with me at all times. Graduating high school and wanting to escape the small town and learn what it meant to live as a gay man; I decided to move to Florida and enroll in school to become a dental assistant. This would be my pattern for the next few years. Enrolling in school and moving to a new city to escape the disaster I had created with my addiction.
My clean date is 2/10/2018 and coming into recovery this time has been such a beautiful journey. I came in with the willingness to do anything and everything suggested to me for my recovery. I thought all I wanted was to stop using, but I got so much more.
I have been able to make amends with my family and have a better relationship with them than before,
I have a God of my understanding that keeps me clean and has changed me from the inside out,
and I have friends that love me for me; who want nothing in return.
At a year clean I was given the opportunity to come work for Fellowship RCO, and it awoke something inside of me that has changed the course of my life. I strive to help other men seeking recovery, purpose, and a passion for life just I have. I found a job that I am passionate about and believe in because I remember what it was like before I found recovery, and I am a living example to others that a life worth living is possible. I get to show up to my life and I am grateful for all that I have experienced, the good and the bad.
A few months ago we lost my grandpa and while it was terribly sad, I got to show up and be there with my family. I didn’t have anything to offer before, but now I have coping skills, spirituality, love and support.
I am truly blessed for this program and I love the life that I live now.
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