Fellowship took me from a life of chaos and isolation and taught me structure, accountability, and connection. The girls in those apartments took me to my first 12 step meetings in Florida, and I was amazed at how rich and diverse the recovery world is down here. I was learning how to have fun sober, but once I took substances out of the equation I was still left with the biggest problem, which was myself. I couldn’t get out of my own way. It took hitting an emotional bottom in sobriety to truly start the recovery process for me- I was ashamed of my behavior, I could no longer blame the drugs, and I needed to change.
I sought out a sponsor who was willing to take me through the 12 steps, and I stopped listening to myself for once and took direction. I took my step work seriously and filled notebooks with detailed charts and bullet points. I spent my whole life as a stubborn atheist, but for the first time I allowed myself to be open-minded to the concept of a higher power of my own understanding. Gradually, like sunlight creeping in at dawn, I became a calmer and more spiritual person. Through working my steps, I was able to see the part I had to played in my past, which made me more able to recognize it moving forward. I was able to target and work on my defects and rebuild those broken bridges in my family and friend relationships.
I have been given the opportunity to take other women through the steps, and to see them anew through their eyes.
Today I am proud to say I am a kinder and more grateful person. I can be present as a daughter and a sister, and I am very close with my family today.
I get to work with others who are struggling with mental health and substance use issues, and I’m even a valued employee! I’ve built a pretty great life with my husband of 2 years, who is also in recovery, and I’m a mother to our amazing one year old son.
The 12 steps helped me to create a life I never imagined was possible for myself, and Fellowship RCO started me on that journey. Fellowship showed me love at a moment in my life when I most needed it, and taught me that I was worth fighting for. The biggest suggestion I can give is to listen to the suggestions, accept the love, and get out of your own way!