February Highlights: Stories of Growth and Connection

My name is Jerome Dingle. My current role is the Respite Program Director at Fellowship Recovery Community Organization. I joined the Fellowship RCO team as a part-time House Manager in November of 2019. After taking that position, I began to discover that I have a deep passion to help others in recovery and began working as a full-time House Manager. Assisting/coaching men at Fellowship RCO Recovery Residence was by far one of the greatest gifts I have ever received in my life. I’ve been able to see men discover a new way of life, become productive citizens, reunite with family and friends, find peace, serenity, and happiness just as I have. Today as the Respite Director, I am responsible for daily operations, managing staff, providing Peer Support to participants and indirectly/directly mentor those in early recovery by showing love, compassion and care.

As a retired service member, I served 20 years of military service in The United States Army from 1997-2017. During my career, I was stationed around the United States, Europe, Asia and the Middle East. I served in the combat zones of Iraq and Afghanistan. It was not until I returned from my last combat deployment in Afghanistan that I felt “different.” I was easily startled by certain sounds, sensitive to certain smells, sights, hypervigilant, angry all the time, and could not socialize with others comfortably. At night, I was afraid to sleep due to recurring, vivid nightmares. It was then that I decided to do what so many soldiers before me did to ease those symptoms, I turned to alcohol. I thought that if I drank heavily enough those nightmares would either subside or not happen at all. I found the answer to all my problems. It was my goal to drink enough to blackout every night. It worked for a while until it did not anymore. 

Slowly consequences began to build; poor relationships with family/friends, poor work performance, isolation, selfishness, deteriorating health, and mentally obsessing about drinking, were just a fraction of the consequences I experienced in active addiction.

In late 2018 I began experiencing suicidal thoughts. I felt scared, alone and did not know how to stop drinking. I went to sleep one night with the anticipation that if I drank so much that hopefully the pain would end, and I would no longer be alive. I woke up the next morning disappointed and knew I needed to try and fight. I went to treatment, and it was there that I learned a lot about myself. I began understanding that I was not alone, I am a human being with feelings and have traumatic experiences that made me who I am today.

Once I completed treatment, I moved to Fellowship RCO’s Recovery Residence for men to start my recovery journey. I was assigned a House Manager who helped guide me through this foreign concept of recovery. I was held accountable which I was very resistant to at first. My ego, pride and the disease of addiction was telling me “I do not need another man telling me what to do” i.e. make my bed, be on time for curfew, go to 12 step meetings daily, get a sponsor etc. Deep down, the young, “little Jerome” inside me was afraid and discontented.

Once I began practicing humility and humbleness my recovery became more transparent. Negative thinking (stinkin’ thinkin) became positive thinking. I surrounded myself with like minded individuals who were serious about their personal recovery journeys. For once in my life, I felt a part of. I was accepted for being myself. I remember being at Fellowship RCO for nine months, going to the shore early in the morning, the weather was cloudy, windy and rainy. It was at that moment, for the first time in recovery, I felt a keen sense of freedom and wept uncontrollably. 

Today, I still practice what I learned from day one of coming to Fellowship RCO as a participant. I attend Narcotic Anonymous meetings regularly, do service, have a homegroup, a homegroup commitment, I have a sponsor, and work steps, but most importantly I don’t use NO MATTER WHAT.

My life today is truly a blessing. I work in an incredible place with a team that goes above and beyond to support their fellow individuals on their recovery journey. I have completed milestones in my recovery that are beyond anything I could’ve dreamt about. From being asked to sit on a Board of Directors, participate in Advisory Boards, and becoming a Certified Recovery Peer Support Specialist with Adult, Family and Veteran endorsements. I have done many wonderful things from traveling, going to sporting events, concerts and experiencing them without using any substances. I fell in love with my best friend Kandi Dingle, and married her on December 22, 2024. During my time off I spend time with Kandi, going to the shore, traveling, and playing with our 3-year-old Chihuahua “Tweak.”

If I could say anything to someone who is suffering from the disease of addiction that currently feels hopeless anything it would be this; stay strong, never ever give up, don’t be afraid because you are not alone. If you fall over and over, get back up, don’t quit, and most importantly ASK FOR HELP. The light at the end of the tunnel may be far, even obscured for a minute. You might not see it yet, but through time and patience it will become brighter, closer and glaring.